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So we were joking around about drinking games....

Started by BojackHorsefella, January 30, 2019, 11:01:32 AM

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BojackHorsefella

When I remembered I created some back in the day. Logged into my Facebook for the first time in forever just to copy and paste these and then deleted that shit again. Enjoy some of the names and the oddly specific rules!


This is from 2010, apparently:



Couple of things right off the bat.

Touchdowns = drinking. Period. For the Jets Chargers game, consider it celebration when the Jets score, a drowning of sorrows when the Chargers score.

Halftime/End of Game = Amaretto shots. We shall do these together.

Lets get to specifics.

Cowboys/Vikings

Any mention of Jessica Simpson = drink

Any time Brett Favre is referenced as a "gunslinger/warrior/a lot more careful than in the past/looks like a kid out there enjoying the game" = drink

Any time Tony Romo is compared to Brett Favre = drink

Any time Tony Romo's botched snap is mentioned = drink

Any time the camera shows Wade Philips and/or Brad Childress staring blankly at the field = drink

Any time Adrian Peterson fumbles = drink

Any time Jared Allen does a sack celebration = drink

Any time a past Cowboy is mentioned = drink

Any time Jerry Jones is shown in his press box = drink

Any time Jerry Jones is shown in his press box unhappy = drink twice

Any time Roy Williams drops a pass = drink

Any time Roy Williams catches a pass = drink twice (you're clearly already drunk if you saw him catch one)

Any time Percy Harvin's migraines are mentioned = drink twice (feel his headaches!)

All I can think of for now. Possibly more later.



Jets/Chargers

Any time USC is mentioned = drink

Any time Brad Smith comes in at QB = drink

Any time the Jets defense forces a turnover = drink

Any time it was Revis = drink twice

Any time a pass is incomplete in Revis' vicinity = drink

Any time a stat box is shown with all the receivers Revis has faced this season = drink

Any time Rex Ryan is shown screaming = drink

Any time Rex Ryan is shown joking around with Mark Sanchez = drink

Any time Mark Sanchez is shown standing uncomfortably next to Rex Ryan = drink

Any time the Jets turn the ball over = drink twice

Any time Philip Rivers can be seen trash talking = drink

Any time Norv Turner's playoff record is shown or mentioned = drink twice (FEEL HIS PAIN!)

Any time Braylon Edwards drops a pass = drink

Any time Braylon Edwards catches a pass = drink twice (You're clearly drunk if you think you saw him catch one)

Any time Braylon Edwards catches a TD pass = drink thrice (that's 4 times, because you have to drink once for a TD).

Any time any sort of J-E-T-S reference is made (on the broadcast) = drink

Any time the words "Revis Island" are spoken = drink







And this is from 2011:


Couple of things right off the bat.





Touchdowns = drinking. Period. For the Jets Colts game, consider it celebration when the Jets score, a drowning of sorrows when the Colts score.





Halftime/End of Game = Shots





This is a beer drinking game. You can do shots instead anywhere it says drink, but you may die. You can also drink just regularly, of course, but make sure to drink when these things happen. Feel free to adjust rules or add-on at your own desire.





Lets get to specifics.





Saints/Seahawks





Any video montages of the Saints Super Bowl year= drink





Any mentio of Tracy Porter's game-winning interception in the Super Bowl = drink (Bonus: If they show Manningface = drink)





Any mention of Brees' journey through the NFL = drink (Bonus: if they mention the Dolphins passing on him and the Saints giving him a chance = drink)





If Matt Hasselbeck is injured/benched and Charlie Whitehurst has to play = drink





If Marshawn Lynch scores a goalline TD = drink





Any discussion of Reggie Bush's Heisman (probably none, unfortunately) = drink





Any time Reggie Bush is stuffed in the backfield = drink (this one may kill you)





Any time the camera shows Sean Payton or Pete Carroll celebrating immensely = drink





Any mention of Pete Carroll's career at USC = drink





Any mention of Pete Carroll's relation to Reggie Bush = drink





Any time Reggie Bush fumbles = drink





Any mention of the Saints formerly being the "Aints" = drink





Any mention of Seattle's 7-9 record = drink (Bonus: if it's also mentioned that they're the first team to win their division with a losing record = drink)





Any time the "12th Man" is mentioned = drink





Any time a Saints penalty is blamed on crowd noise = drink





If Brees completes a pass to 6 different receivers = drink





If Brees completes a pass to 10 different receivers = 2 drinks





If Brees completes 3 touchdown passes to different receivers = 3 drinks





Any time Mike Williams relation to Pete Carroll is mentioned = drink





Any time Mike Williams' resurgence is mentioned = drink







All I can think of for now. Possibly more later.









Jets/Colts





Any sighting of Manningface = drink





Any time Brad Smith comes in at QB = drink





Any time the Jets defense forces a turnover = drink





Any time it was Revis = drink twice





Any time a pass is incomplete in Revis' vicinity = drink





Any time Rex Ryan is shown screaming = drink





Any time Rex Ryan is shown joking around with Mark Sanchez = drink





Any time Mark Sanchez is shown standing uncomfortably next to Rex Ryan = drink





Any time the Jets turn the ball over = drink twice





Any time Braylon Edwards drops a pass = drink





Any time Braylon Edwards catches a pass = drink twice (You're clearly drunk if you think you saw him catch one)





Any time Braylon Edwards catches a TD pass = drink thrice (that's 4 times, because you have to drink once for a TD).





Any time the words "Revis Island" are spoken = drink





Any mention of the Jets defensive issues this year = drink





Any time Santonio Holmes Super Bowl MVP award is mentioned = drink





Any time any of the Jets off-field issues are mentioned = drink (that means drink for each. So if the words Inez Sainz come up, drink. If Rex Ryan's foot fetish comes up, drink. If Braylon Edwards DUI comes up, drink. If the Sal Alosi trip is brought up, drink. If...well, you get the picture).





Any time Sanchez throws a pick = drink





Any time Ladanian Tomlinson is shown on the bike on the sideline = drink





If LT gets injured = drink





If Shonne Green fumbles = drink





If Vernon Gholston's name is mentioned = drink (if his lack of a sack in his career, or the word "disappointment" is mentioned = drink again)





If Jim Leonhard's injury is mentioned = drink





If the Colts receiving corp injuries are mentioned (Clark, Collie, etc) = drink





Any time Jim Caldwell is shown on the sidelines with a completely blank expression (basically, any time Caldwell is shown) = drink





If you're unsure whether Caldwell is actually alive when shown (ever seen Weekend at Bernie's?) = drink





Any time Manning's play-calling is mentioned = drink





Any time Manning audibles a play = drink





Any time Manning is sacked = drink





Any time Manning is picked = drink





If Cromartie's children are mentioned at all = drink





If John Conner gets a carry = drink





If Conner is referred to as "The Terminator"= drink





If Joe McKnight inexplicably gets the ball at any point = drink





If Dustin Keller actually catches a freaking pass = drink





If Keller scores a touchdown = drink (so drink twice)

Crewe

Any time Jerry Jones is shown in his press box unhappy

They're was some drunk mofo's watching that game ;-)