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Luggnutz

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rollntider

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Author Topic: The Life Thread  (Read 21739 times)

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Offline rollntider

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Re: The Life Thread
« Reply #180 on: October 13, 2020, 07:37:26 PM »
Hey folks,

Long time no see. Sorry I have been away. Its been a crazy few years since I was really active. Been laid off, changed jobs, got hired back by the original company, and I went through a divorce. That got final, it would have went final in march then covid hit, so was delayed so much and it finalized in august. Eventually me and the ex started being friendly and amicable, almost could say we are friends. I met a lady a month ago and we have been getting serious and she is a bit younger than me LOL. I have been getting back to a sense of normalcy, and Life is turning good again. I missed hanging on here but its been a wierd few years during that separation and divorce. All is well as of now folks



Online TheNorm

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Re: The Life Thread
« Reply #181 on: October 13, 2020, 09:00:08 PM »
Truly sorry to hear about your loss to you and your family, Bo. My condolences.
“But it is not enough for me to stand before you tonight and condemn riots. It would be morally irresponsible for me to do that without, at the same time, condemning the contingent, intolerable conditions that exist in our society. These conditions are the things that cause individuals to feel that they have no other alternative than to engage in violent rebellions to get attention. And I must say tonight that a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the negro poor has worsened over the last twelve or fifteen years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice and humanity.” - Martin Luther King, Jr

Offline BojackHorsefella

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Re: The Life Thread
« Reply #182 on: October 16, 2020, 01:01:21 PM »
Firstly, thanks for the kind words, it's very appreciated.

But, before I continue:

Hey folks,

Long time no see. Sorry I have been away. Its been a crazy few years since I was really active. Been laid off, changed jobs, got hired back by the original company, and I went through a divorce. That got final, it would have went final in march then covid hit, so was delayed so much and it finalized in august. Eventually me and the ex started being friendly and amicable, almost could say we are friends. I met a lady a month ago and we have been getting serious and she is a bit younger than me LOL. I have been getting back to a sense of normalcy, and Life is turning good again. I missed hanging on here but its been a wierd few years during that separation and divorce. All is well as of now folks

TIDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What's up, man?! Well, I guess all those words above are what's up, haha. While I'm sorry you've had a rough go of it of late, I'm very excited and happy to hear things are going well for you now. Divorces suck, I know, but it really does feel better once you're on the other side of it, and I'm glad you and your ex-wife have found a place where you can be friends after the experience.




 
Regarding you mid life crisis query, Im not sure I believe in a mid life crisis, but more of an awakening.
I remember when I was a teenage, I was truly having a religious quandary which obviously included fear of death.
My dad told me "it's going to happen to each and every one of us" and while I didnt want to hear that obviously, but at the same time it resonated with me. Dealing with death, especially my parents, was almost crippling, but there was this
sort of inner peace underneath it all.
You do start to realize your mortality and it can affect your ambition, personality and the like.
Like me, I picked up guitar last year and thought well, the most I can get out of it is 20 years probably and most of that will be as a doddering old man, what fun is that?
Of course that's the pessimistic version but you can choose how to deal with it.

Yeah. Admittedly, death's been on my mind for far too long ("I imagine so much it feels more like a memory", as a particularly well-known playwright put it). I don't know why, I always sort of felt like 60 was going to be my time, so, being 33, the fact that I've convinced myself of this just leads me to horror at "already" being halfway through my life. Of course, my uncle just passed away at 77, my grandmother 2 years ago at 93, so I may actually have some time left, but, in the end, I know that dark place is coming. Death is a very big commitment, and I know people say "Well, remember what it was like before you were born," and, I get that, there's no pain in death itself, but in my 33 years on this earth I've become RATHER attached to life and would prefer to stay, insane as it all is sometimes.

It probably does help that until 8 years ago, I didn't really have to deal with it. I think I said on here before, my maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather both passed before I ever got to know them, so death wasn't a thing for me until my maternal grandfather passed. Even then, it barely struck me because I was on the aircraft carrier at the time, so it never truly felt real until I visited his grave a few years later. Grandma was easier because I was able to attend and get that closure, whereas my Uncle was just this Zoom meet.

Offline Crewe

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Re: The Life Thread
« Reply #183 on: October 16, 2020, 01:26:01 PM »
welcome back tider! good to hear things are on the mend.

I feel ya man. I thought there was no way Id live beyond 35, had no plans, no nothing. In the back of my mind, I think I was kinda hoping the 2k glitch would get us all and I wouldnt have to cope.
made my life much much worse, even though I turned everything around in my late 20's. By then though, it was like my life learning experiences were just beginning because that was when I was actively trying to succeed and find happiness, direction and meaning. And now, here I am, almost done and I just feel, unsatisfied.
Not sure what can be done about that so I just keep looking for whatever the hell it is I need and try to be happy in the interim.
I also try to put myself in the frame of mind I might have if I were on my death bed, morbid as that sounds.
What would I regret? At least regret within the scope of things I could correct now, not something like feeling bad for peppering the freshmen during dodgeball.
Things like travel, guitar, painting, whatever it may be. I still havent found it and the pandemic makes it worse.
« Last Edit: October 16, 2020, 01:27:40 PM by Crewe »

Offline rollntider

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Re: The Life Thread
« Reply #184 on: October 16, 2020, 03:51:04 PM »
Thanks for the welcome backs.

Bo, (hard not saying Buc) I hit a midlife in my 40's . I look at it like this, there are people that passed before us that were way younger. Enjoy each day that you can for what it is.  Youth goes by fast, enjoy 33, if you are lucky enough to be 48 like me and think man I was a kiddo back then.



Online TheNorm

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Re: The Life Thread
« Reply #185 on: October 16, 2020, 06:25:45 PM »
Missed this a few days ago, but welcome back tider. Good to have you around again. :)
“But it is not enough for me to stand before you tonight and condemn riots. It would be morally irresponsible for me to do that without, at the same time, condemning the contingent, intolerable conditions that exist in our society. These conditions are the things that cause individuals to feel that they have no other alternative than to engage in violent rebellions to get attention. And I must say tonight that a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the negro poor has worsened over the last twelve or fifteen years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice and humanity.” - Martin Luther King, Jr

Offline Crewe

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Re: The Life Thread
« Reply #186 on: October 16, 2020, 10:25:14 PM »
Thanks for the welcome backs.

Bo, (hard not saying Buc) I hit a midlife in my 40's . I look at it like this, there are people that passed before us that were way younger. Enjoy each day that you can for what it is.  Youth goes by fast, enjoy 33, if you are lucky enough to be 48 like me and think man I was a kiddo back then.

48 lol I remember that age, sonny boy  :D

Offline bigbaldben

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Re: The Life Thread
« Reply #187 on: October 17, 2020, 04:48:15 PM »
Hi everyone - not sure if I need to make an introductions thread or a sorry I've been away thread or whatever, but this felt like a good place to say hello.   :)

BOJACK/BUC/JETFEVER - sorry on the loss of your uncle and sorry trolls exist.  I continue to hope that society gets better at handling them but the anonymity of technology provides cover for the worst of them.  I would kill to be 33 again, but can't say I would do it better.  I fully expect to be 62 and wonder what the hell was wrong with me at 47.

CREWE - awesome that you picked up the guitar!  JUST JAM.  Playing is it's own reward.

NORM - I don't know how you manage to keep your sanity engaging like you do on Facebook.  These days, I type anything politically related that hints in one direction or the other and I fear the apocalypse. 

TIDER - sorry to hear about your divorce but pumped to hear things have turned around for you, especially with someone "a bit younger" than you!   8)

Offline BojackHorsefella

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Re: The Life Thread
« Reply #188 on: October 17, 2020, 11:37:28 PM »
BOJACK/BUC/JETFEVER - sorry on the loss of your uncle and sorry trolls exist.  I continue to hope that society gets better at handling them but the anonymity of technology provides cover for the worst of them.  I would kill to be 33 again, but can't say I would do it better.  I fully expect to be 62 and wonder what the hell was wrong with me at 47.


Appreciate it Ben, and welcome back!

Offline Crewe

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Re: The Life Thread
« Reply #189 on: October 18, 2020, 12:42:13 AM »
Hi everyone - not sure if I need to make an introductions thread or a sorry I've been away thread or whatever, but this felt like a good place to say hello.   :)

BOJACK/BUC/JETFEVER - sorry on the loss of your uncle and sorry trolls exist.  I continue to hope that society gets better at handling them but the anonymity of technology provides cover for the worst of them.  I would kill to be 33 again, but can't say I would do it better.  I fully expect to be 62 and wonder what the hell was wrong with me at 47.

CREWE - awesome that you picked up the guitar!  JUST JAM.  Playing is it's own reward.

NORM - I don't know how you manage to keep your sanity engaging like you do on Facebook.  These days, I type anything politically related that hints in one direction or the other and I fear the apocalypse. 

TIDER - sorry to hear about your divorce but pumped to hear things have turned around for you, especially with someone "a bit younger" than you!   8)

it's frustrating for me because I think the length of time Ive been playing, I should have the easy chord progressions down but just havent mastered them yet. I've tried to strum along with my oldest nephew and his wife, just on the patio type thing you know, and it is fun but it'd be better if I could get the basics down. But, I just keep trying. My nephew, who's been playing 20 years, tells me, sooner or later, it'll just happen, so Im taking him at his word

Online TheNorm

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Re: The Life Thread
« Reply #190 on: October 18, 2020, 06:57:53 PM »

NORM - I don't know how you manage to keep your sanity engaging like you do on Facebook.  These days, I type anything politically related that hints in one direction or the other and I fear the apocalypse. 


Honestly, it helps me weed out my friends list.  :D
“But it is not enough for me to stand before you tonight and condemn riots. It would be morally irresponsible for me to do that without, at the same time, condemning the contingent, intolerable conditions that exist in our society. These conditions are the things that cause individuals to feel that they have no other alternative than to engage in violent rebellions to get attention. And I must say tonight that a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the negro poor has worsened over the last twelve or fifteen years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice and humanity.” - Martin Luther King, Jr

Offline Crewe

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Re: The Life Thread
« Reply #191 on: October 27, 2020, 07:12:01 PM »

NORM - I don't know how you manage to keep your sanity engaging like you do on Facebook.  These days, I type anything politically related that hints in one direction or the other and I fear the apocalypse. 


Honestly, it helps me weed out my friends list.  :D

lol I have a lifelong friend who is an ardent supporter, opposite my beliefs, and sine adulthood, I can stand him for about 4-6 hours at a time but sooner or later he's going to launch and when he does, Im out.
We know where each other stands and try not to talk about it and we normally dont see each other that often so it helps, but, even less given the pandemic so it's probably best for both of us lol

Online TheNorm

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Re: The Life Thread
« Reply #192 on: October 27, 2020, 10:56:52 PM »
A lot of these people I've picked up over the last few years from the ballroom studio I was practicing/performing at, so they aren't exactly lifelong friends I'm arguing with here...and a lot easier to cut them loose. Will that make the first big gathering at the studio a little awkward whenever it's safe to do so again? Yeah, probably...but I don't care lol. Barely wanted to talk with them before all this went down, and the last few months has confirmed that.

Now lifelong friends like the one you mention Crewe? We knew awhile ago social media wasn't/isn't the place to discuss it, so we don't. Not saying I haven't lost some people I thought would be those lifelong friends, and yeah...it does bother me a little bit. But more in the sense that they've so "bought into the kool-aid" that it became that much easier for them to demonize me and/or what I stood for. Oh well.
“But it is not enough for me to stand before you tonight and condemn riots. It would be morally irresponsible for me to do that without, at the same time, condemning the contingent, intolerable conditions that exist in our society. These conditions are the things that cause individuals to feel that they have no other alternative than to engage in violent rebellions to get attention. And I must say tonight that a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the negro poor has worsened over the last twelve or fifteen years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice and humanity.” - Martin Luther King, Jr

Offline Crewe

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Re: The Life Thread
« Reply #193 on: October 28, 2020, 01:36:06 PM »
A lot of these people I've picked up over the last few years from the ballroom studio I was practicing/performing at, so they aren't exactly lifelong friends I'm arguing with here...and a lot easier to cut them loose. Will that make the first big gathering at the studio a little awkward whenever it's safe to do so again? Yeah, probably...but I don't care lol. Barely wanted to talk with them before all this went down, and the last few months has confirmed that.

Now lifelong friends like the one you mention Crewe? We knew awhile ago social media wasn't/isn't the place to discuss it, so we don't. Not saying I haven't lost some people I thought would be those lifelong friends, and yeah...it does bother me a little bit. But more in the sense that they've so "bought into the kool-aid" that it became that much easier for them to demonize me and/or what I stood for. Oh well.

That was a factor in me getting off FB eons ago. Id gone to a reunion and guys were, ah man, Ill hit you up on FB and we can hang out, and then they connect and I'd never hear another word. It was all about the "number of friends" and it was phony.
Then with the political and even the sports stuff, it was just too much.
And you know what confirmed I made the right choice? A day before I deleted FB I posted, if you want me to have your contact info, send it now....and not one of my 200+ "friends" did a thing.

On a closer familial front, my cousin now hosts Thanksgiving and Christmas since my mom passed and its fun and all but she and her hubby are for the other guy, completely. Their two kids are not btw lol
My nephew wont go because of that, and I tell him, look man, they spend $1000 on food, and yea they are very well off and can aford it, but that's not the point. The point is, they do it, AND they invite all of us even they know we are staunchly opposed to their beliefs.
it's not like we walk in and they start taunting us. But he still wont go.
And honestly, there are times where it does come up and I've left before, but it was never fisticuffs or anything like that.
Again, don't see them often even though they are 10 minutes from me lol

So I havent lost any real close friends due to opposing beliefs, unless you count my last SO. We never talked about it much but we were opposites and it was going to come up sooner or later. Would it have caused a split? I dunno, and it doesnt matter because it happened before we ever dove in to it lol

 

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